Sunday marked the biggest red carpet event in the entertainment calendar. It was, of course the Oscars.
Journalists stayed up all night to cover every moment of the awards ceremony and the parading of clothes on bodies that comes before it.
Writing as a former fashion journalist, I have myself been privy to delighting in the incredibly extravagant dresses worn by the most recognisable faces in Hollywood.
However, the media coverage surrounding women at the Academy Awards is always utterly depressing, and I would quite like that to change thankyouverymuch.
In a bid to highlight just how many God awful words are thrown at women for daring to go out in public wearing clothes, I've taken two articles from the Daily Mail's Oscars 2016 coverage and analysed the words used to describe women on the red carpet.
First up, the DM's worst dressed list
At just under 4,000 words long this piece awards Heidi Klum the Oscar for 'worst fashion fail', likens Kate Winslet's look to a bin bag and deemed Golden Globe and Grammy Award winner Diane Warren's choice of outfit 'inappropriate':
Terribly awkward cleavage
Over the top
Part trash bag, part oil-slick
A step too far
A bit much
Looked like a blood clot
NB: This piece included the sentence: "Model Lily Cole looked like she was the restaurant leftovers in a tinfoil-like crumpled gown that hid her slender frame."
Next, best dressed:
Unfortunately, the DM didn't just dedicate another 4,000 words to the best dressed women. Oh no.
Instead, there were dozens (I couldn't actually bring myself to count) of stories on individual trends and dresses.
With a vast sea of content to pick from I opted for this, 'Jennifer Lawrence, Brie Larson, Cate Blanchett and Charlize Theron take the plunge in glamorous gowns on the Academy Awards red carpet'
And remember, these are supposed to be the positive terms...
Centre of attention
Went all out
Showcased her baby bump
Showed off her blooming bump
Left little to the imagination
Showed some skin
Played it safe
At this point I give up.
Further proof that none of this actually matters... Kate Winslet appears on the worst dressed list and is praised for being 'stunning':